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[06 Aug 2004|09:35pm] |
Leave a comment if you ever read this.
If not I'm not going to update anymore because its pointless.
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| thoughts. and. feelings. |
[14 Jul 2004|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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teenage dirtbag-wheetus. |
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i have a friend who lost a loved one recently. and i told her if she wanted to talk i could try to help her through this difficult time. she said that she was confused about how to feel. she didnt know what to feel. and i told her that you shouldnt have to think about how you feel and wonder what you are feeling. you just feel. and just be. without putting too much thought into it
as much as i tell people how they should be and what they should do and how to fix their own problems. i, on the other hand completely contradict myself with every word that i utter out of my lips. i spend too much time trying to figure out how I feel or what I want to feel, when i should be just feeling and living without thinking about it.
i mean, what are feelings but words? "mad sad glad angry happy" words with no more meaning than "you" and "I". Without anything behind those words, why do they mean anything at all? What is mad? What is sad? Who are you? What am I? Words mean so much, but why? They are nothing.
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[23 Jun 2004|06:14pm] |
went to the reel big fish coast to coast concert last night with alyson aj and his brother and we met up with alysons sister..that was really fun. i hadnt seen aj in a long time and i missed him so im glad i saw him. and well i love aly to death so im glad i saw her too :-D
schools over. im so happy because its taken such a load of pressure off of me [[and everyone else too i know.]]
yeah nothing else.
have a good summer everyone
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| Bullshit. |
[02 Jun 2004|06:24pm] |
I want school to be over. I can't deal with it anymore. I don't go to school a lot anymore. I don't really feel like going. I want to be something amazing someday. I want to want to be good at something. I want to be motivated to do anything. I wish I didn't sleep to make the day go by faster. I wish I ate. I wish I didn't look at every fucking label compulsively. I wish I didn't listen to what people say and actually be real when I say I really don't give a fuck. I'm sorry I complain so fucking much. And I'm sorry I say fuck, I hate that word. I'm more of a hypocrit these days than I thought possible. I don't talk to my mom anymore. I think it's because I don't want her to see who I have become;;Everything that she always was and everything that she didn't want to be. I'm in one of my phases again. It's bad. Again. I want to start writing again. And writing well. And being real. The one thing I want most is to be real again. I don't know if I ever was real, but if I was I know this wasn't the way I did it.
Bullshit.
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[23 May 2004|10:12pm] |
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so friday i saw shrek 2 with chris haha what a funny movie. saturday i got up at 6 and drove to uva and saw the hopkins vs nc lax game at 12 and then the md vs princeton game at 3. Md lost by 1 in overtime. it sucked. i got sunburn really badly. then today we decided to go to monticello and see thomas jeffersons house and stuff like that..that was fun and really pretty but i got more sunburn and it hurts and i cant move lol. so next week are the stupid high school assessments and im probably going to fail them. yeah thats it
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| weekend |
[10 May 2004|01:58pm] |
friday--went to see mean girls with christopher :)
saturday--went to my dads got my mom a mothers day gift..saturday night saw mean girls again with some people and went to the mall..got a new skirt and some shirts
sunday--went over to megans and saw her family there..played baseball saw her hott cousin..ha that was fun. apparently she gave him my number after her uncle told his son to "tap that". jesus.
went to my grammas house had chinese food and thats my weekend in a nutshell.
i was semi sick today so i decided to not go to school lol considering i didnt feel like it and my mom woke me up 5 minutes before my bus comes..so yeah thats it.
peace.
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[08 May 2004|04:10pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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singing as lovers go by dashboard |
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good mood lately :-D saw mean girls last night with christopher and we saw 13 going on 30 last week..means girls was deff better..ah i like the kid a lot hes so sweet and askldasl;jk. I'm going to the mall tonight because i desperately need spring/summer clothes..hm thats about it. hm i have these two teachers that i think are molesters lol..my spanish teacher told me he liked me the other day haha and my math teacher..well everytime he passes by me he touches my stuff or pats me on the back its kind of weird. but anyways i hope everyone is goood :)
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[02 May 2004|10:19pm] |
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I want a boy too drunk to give a fuck.
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[01 May 2004|04:47pm] |
sorry for being so boring lately. i havent had anything to talk about. um yeah so that whole new years resolution thing to lose weight well i havent exactly done that yet lol..i want to lose 10 pounds..i did i lost 11 like last week but then got 6 of it back..so im going to be healthy as of today and start running and go on a diet and all that good stuff..
last nigth i went to the movies with this guy..it was so much fun. he's amazing. today i went to the maryland lax game vs notre dame..md won in double over time 9-8. yeah i havent really been myself lately and i dont know why. im sorry for anyone ive been like pissy to..it wasnt intentional.
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[29 Apr 2004|10:11pm] |
he's every you want
he's everything you need
he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
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[20 Apr 2004|08:36pm] |
i havent updated in a long time.
nothings different. everything is as sucky as it was before.
im probably not going to update for another few weeks because i dont really feel like it, and im going to orlando tomorrow
so
peace out bitches.
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[13 Apr 2004|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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music |
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some song on purevolume.com>> chrystal eyes--mike borgia |
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This is probably really stupid, but I think about stupid things when I am lying in bed at night and have nothing else to think about. So I was thinking last night, and I have been actually wondering this for quite a while. And again, it's probably dumb. But I wonder.. how do deaf people read. now you're probably thinking..they aren't blind. well i know that.. but how do they no what sound the letters make to form words and hear those words in their heads, letting them read? I don't know. It's just something I wonder sometimes.
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[11 Apr 2004|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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mix tape-brand new |
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wow.
my spring break just went from terrible to amazing in a matter of 30 seconds.
wednesday night. something corporate and yellowcard at nations.
backstage passes.
i think i might die.
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| I really hate how I love to hate. |
[07 Apr 2004|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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break myself-something corporate |
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I hate when people tell me what I am and what I'm not. Especially when they're wrong.
And I hate;;
when people tell you they love you when they really don't. people who lie.
how I would die for practically anyone and how they would'nt. how hate is a strong word.
how love is an even stronger one.
how a lifetime of bad can be redeemed with one good deed.
how I never really tell the truth.
how I'm a hypocrit with every breath I take.
who I am.
how I'll never change even though I want to.
how I hate change in everyone else.
how I say it will change.
how I know it never will.
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[07 Apr 2004|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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down-something corporate |
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this has been probably the worst spring break i have ever had.
and its not even over yet. yeah every plan i have made this week has been cancelled.
I'm sorry to everyone who has had to ever listen to my bullshit problems. I want you all to know that I really appreciate it, and I'm genuinely sorry for everything.
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[01 Apr 2004|03:55pm] |
1. Enter your first name only into Google.
2. Click on "Images".
3. Pick your 3 favorite pictures and post them in your LJ
( Lindsay )
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) eightxxxstars
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[31 Mar 2004|07:17pm] |
so tonight i went to dinner with my dad. we went to dennys. im addicted to those stupid claw machines with the stuffed animals even though i like never win. well anyways he was like "Lindsay here why don't you go do the machine thing" and hands me a few dollars and I was ilke..no.. because I didn't really feel like it. so he was like okay fine and gets up from the table. A few minutes later he comes back with 3 stuffed animals. haha. it was funny.
apparently his girlfriend from italy has a son..whos 16..and they have "made arrangements" for me to meet him when he comes to the us in june for a swim meet. and hes "a very handsome young man" haha I hope he is.
yeah thats it.
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